Apprehension

Relaxing into the here and now is the doorway into that world of potential.
You will then be able to avoid the pitfalls of tension and fear.
We all have fears of many kinds, some that may appear to be useful in terms of survival, and some that we carry around with us at a sub-conscious level which actually hold us back, and prevent us from realising and living our full potential.

Your awareness lives in the HERE and NOW, when you are playing and thoroughly enjoying the experience, hearing the sound, feeling the flow of rhythm.
What happens from time to time is that we encounter moments of apprehension that flash through our minds. Whatever the cause, in these moments we become self-conscious, that is, we are jostled from our state of peaceful awareness, and instead are faced with negative propositions and suggestions from our mind.
Our mind tends to talk to us in terms of "Me" or "I" and this creates the illusion of a permanent, solidified personality. Our awareness ceases to flow naturally and we start bouncing around in the pinball machine of our thought process and succumb to the personality we think we are, assailed by doubts and restricted by fear.

We should know therefore that the mind and the dream it creates for us is not the real "I".
For WE are AWARE of this process itself, and there is another part of us experiencing. With pure awareness as our guide we realise that we have in fact UNLIMITED POTENTIAL, as part of the One Reality.
We can then unhinge the fear process by staring it right between the eyes and confronting it.

Let's ask ourselves what it is, about playing the piano, that creates this sense of fear and apprehension.
I know, if you play a "wrong" note the piano will in actual fact explode and send pieces of you flying into outer space! No? Will you fall through a large hole that swallows piano stool and all? No?
I think you will find that what you are afraid of experiencing is your very own creation, and that is your own Self Judgement! You are afraid of not achieving the high standard you have set yourself.
You are fearful of your own negative reaction.
Feeling this in yourself you will transfer this thought process on to any other person who you are aware is listening, and the fear compounds itself.
Judge not lest ye be Judged.
It works the other way round also.
If you judge yourself (and anything you care to tell yourself is UNTRUE by the way, for the Truth about you cannot be spoken, it just IS,) you will presume that others will judge you in the same way.

There is always a reason for error, (which is simply things not going to plan) and the cause is usually the mind being unprepared. Be kind on yourself, see it as purely a matter of science. The science of the universe.
We cannot alter the laws that operate within and around us, but we can observe, and learn how they function. Perhaps apprehension has been caused by not making good friends with every area of the piece we are playing.
We know that there are parts that need further attention.
Fact.
We feel the passage approaching and up goes our level of apprehension. Instead of sailing right through it with as much relaxed awareness as we can achieve, we doom ourselves to stumble and fall.
Perhaps we lose concentration.
Fact.
On no occasion is there any call for us to judge ourselves severely, or even at all, for if we have observed, we have understood.
We are still who we always are and always will be, crystal clear consciousness, an awareness that allows us everything, and that feels but doesn't judge.

Until we reach that wonderful ecstasy of fearlessness consistently, we will not be operating at our full potential, not be offering one hundred per cent of ourselves.
However, the only way to unhinge these moments of apprehension when we do observe them is quite simply to let them go, open the hand and let them slip out of our grasp, with a very fond farewell, for it is part of us that we are seeing, and simply deciding that we need no more. Let go, deeply, firmly, very wilfully, let go.
The river of life will wash it away, let that river flow with unknown strength as it carries our burdens away.

Growth

General principal of growth: Growth must mean that we are alive.
How incredibly, ineffably wonderful that is! We all grow at a pace that is perfect for us. Anything that is force fed or artificially hastened will incorporate weaknesses. So let us accept our natural rhythm, and the beautiful design of our unique biological equipment, namely our shoulders, arms, wrists and fingers. Size and strength are rarely an impediment to our joyful growth.
With correct awareness there are always alternatives to any situation.

Please don't be tempted into trying anything like the young Robert Schumann, who devised some mechanism to "strengthen" his fingers, and ended up breaking one or two!
Heaven forbid that you suffer such a tragedy as Paul Wittgenstein, for whom Ravel composed his awesome Left Hand Piano Concerto.
However, accidents do happen.
I have had three separate "Practice Stopping" injuries to my hands over the years.
Fortunately, only one hand at a time, and all fully recoverable.
Please look after your precious body.

Growth in the study process seems to follow a pattern of peaks and plateaus. The study of the new followed by a period of assimilation. Quite often it might be felt necessary to have a complete break. Go ahead, be positive about it if you feel it. You can rest assured that you will return to practising with freshness and renewed vigour.
The Way is still there.

It is critical for your growth that you supply the right nutrients. A varied diet of pieces of the correct degree of challenge that suit your taste and regular study to help your technique grow. To this end, I would recommend a series of Musical studies, not the dry "Technique in Isolation Ward" type that leave the musical soul parched.
After all, what use is technique if it is not contextualised?
Karl Czerny comes high on my list, he had a wonderful understanding of "relaxed hand fingering", which the studies mysteriously impart to whoever takes the trouble to learn them. I will supply in a separate section some dry isolated technique exercises for you.
A little bread with your meal?